


Incandescent

by DireSituation



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Anger, Bullying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Lucifer is a bad person in this, M/M, no beta we die like men, other brothers are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27481006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DireSituation/pseuds/DireSituation
Summary: After experiencing bullying, and recieving no support from Lucifer, Adam, my MC, goes to comfort Satan.Obeymember Day 9: Satan
Relationships: Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 57





	Incandescent

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fanfic based on the idea that Satan is an angry crier. It's lowkey based on what I've went through as a kid with my own anger issues. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Warning: Depictions of Bullying, Neglect, and Descriptions of Violence

There are many official rules of R.A.D. that the students must obey to maintain order. Yet there are even more unspoken rules to ensure tranquility amongst the demonic student population. The first, and undoubtedly the most important, rule is this: 

Do not anger the Avatar of Wrath. 

This rule should have been obvious to those who hear the title. You don't provoke a ticking time bomb with six older, high powered demon brothers. Especially when this particular demon has done _nothing_ to warrant a provocation. 

Satan, the Avatar of Wrath, tries not to act upon his rage, especially not in a school environment. He knows of the consequences it brings. He knows the destruction, tears, and anguish it causes. He knows how quick the fingers are to point. He knows the looks of fear in his victims' eyes. He feels his own terror when he looks in the mirror and can't recognize the creature he becomes. He hates it all so....he represses. He holds down his rage, his temper, his despair, and lives, as best as he can. 

He also knows that rules, no matter how essential they are to the fabric of society, are going to be broken. 

And they were on one seemingly normal day. 

Newly admitted students couldn’t possibly grasp all the rules at once. A whole new environment is a complex thing to manage. Satan understands this. He had to quickly grasp this new world when he was suddenly thrust into existence. It was an overwhelming and isolating experience that he wouldn’t wish upon his worst enemy. As a result, he has learned to become patient with those who are new to his world. This was proven to be beneficial when the new human, Adam, entered his life. 

But there was only so much one being can take. 

Two transfer students from a different demonic school had enrolled into Satan's homeroom class. As they stood in front of the classroom, giving their cliche introductions, Satan ignored them. After all, he was close to finishing a mystery novel so, naturally, that took priority. Adam, who decided to sit beside him on his first day, was paying attention for the both of them. Satan was grateful to have a companion like him; one who understood what a person needs just by glancing at them. 

After their introductions, the two students sat in the empty seats behind them. Satan flipped a page in his book. Only ten pages remained. Class had officially begun and Adam took his notes from the day before, ever the vigilant student. 

As soon as Satan reached the final page of his jaw dropping book, he felt something wet stick onto the back of his neck. He jolted at the sensation, effectively breaking his concentration. His anger flared at the distraction. Something unpleasantly broke his train of thought and he immediately wanted to eliminate the cause. 

He touched the affected area and found the culprit. It was a spitball. He clicked his tongue against his teeth in disgust. He couldn’t believe demons still participated in childish antics like this. Hell, not even Mammon would stoop this low. Satan turned around in his seat and examined his classmates. He scanned their desks, their faces, and their hands, looking for any piece of evidence he can find. No one, not even the new students, were looking at him as their attention was on the professor. At least, that’s where they were forcing their gaze. 

_There is an imposter among us..._

"Satan!" The Professor hollered. "What is so important for you to be looking away from the board?!"

Satan felt his cheeks go warm from embarrassment. In an instant, every student’s eyes were piercing him. Analyzing _him_. Satan could see the hamsters running in their heads as they assessed the situation. “Was he getting mad?” They must be wondering. “Do we need to evacuate the room?”

The demons before him were terrified of the demon he was forced to be. 

Satan quickly spun around and placed his hands on his desk. You must always have your hands in sight so others can see if you’re making a fist. 

"Nothing, Professor," he said, clearing his throat. "Please forgive me."

The Professor's eyes bore into him as they administer the same type of examination as the students. After internally giving him a passing grade, the Professor went back to teaching. Satan let out a small sigh of relief. It has been getting harder and harder to pass that test.

He stared back at his book, desperate to take in the beautiful words, but they escaped his mind. A single, always repeated mantra, was growling in his head, in a familiar, deep voice. 

_Don't give them any proof of what they think you are._

A gentle hand touched his own, jolting him away from his internal scolding. He finally took notice of how violently his hands were shaking.

“Satan,” Adam whispered. “Are you alright?”

Another blush formed but, thankfully, for a different reason. Satan nodded to him but adjusted his hand so their fingers could interlock. Whenever Adam sensed that Satan wasn’t doing well, he always held his hand, as a reminder of his support. This firm, comforting presence helped keep him grounded. It gave him the strength to push away the devious thoughts that dared to reveal themselves. Adam gently rubbed Satan's hand with his thumb which is something else he often did. 

It also made his heart skip a beat. 

“Yes,” Satan whispered, looking up from his book. He gave a small smile. “Thank you. You can let go now.”

Adam returned his smile with his own before letting go. It was the same heartwarming smile that Satan was always gifted, no matter the circumstances. A smile full of friendship, love, and acceptance.

_What have I done to earn such a gift?_

Satan heard soft laughter behind him. Once again, it was a distraction that broke his train of thoughts. Satan was particularly upset that this train was destroyed. This time, the culprits were obvious: it was the new students. He had a suspicion that they were responsible for the spitball. After all, they’re the closest to him. However, thanks to Adam’s support, he managed to brush off their laughter and their “prank”. 

_It’s just a one time thing. They're new to R.A.D. They'll learn._

They didn't. 

The next day, throughout the entire class, more spitballs landed on him. Since Satan turned around to find the culprit yesterday, the new students wanted him to do it again. They want him to get in trouble. Well, Satan refused to give them what they wanted. He stared, with all his might, at the board as spitballs landed on his neck and hair. Each one lighting a match to a fire Satan had to extinguish over and over again. 

It was becoming tedious. It was getting tiresome. It was making him more angry. 

He repeated his old mantra to himself as he didn’t have Adam’s hand to distract him. Luckily, for once, it worked. He remained the model student his reputation relied on for the entire one hour lecture. 

But the new students found him again, alone, at lunch. This time away from the watchful eyes of the staff, students, and Adam.

Once homeroom ended, Satan immediately went to the bathroom and removed the disgusting spitballs before running to his next class. He realized that he only had those annoying classmates during homeroom so they could only bother him during lunch. If they can find him. You see, Satan often skipped lunch so he could read in the library. Since everyone was away, and he had privileges as a member of the Student Council, he used the deserted space as the perfect reading destination. Even if it did leave him completely vulnerable to harassment.

This wasn’t a worry to Satan before today. Before the new students barged into the library, unannounced, and surrounded him at his seat. One of them slammed their hand on top of Satan’s book in an attempt to make him look up.

_I won’t give you the damn satisfaction._

When their first attempt at manipulation failed, the duo effectively changed their methods. As Satan’s eyes looked fixedly at the blocked pages, they hovered over him, poking his face, yelling in his ears, and tried everything they could to make him react. 

"You read too much because you don't have any friends!" They mocked. 

"You think you're better than everyone because you _read?"_ They questioned.

"You pretentious shit! You should go die so you can no longer stink up the school with you entitled bullshit!" They screeched. 

Satan knew they were just doing anything they could to make him snap. He knew what they were spewing was childish, idiotic slander. He knew none of it was actually true. He rationalized the situation and knew, with all his heart, that they were just adding fuel to a fire he didn't want to burn. A fire that consumes his very soul with anguish by its destruction.

You can’t rationalize uncontrollable anger. You can only watch it burn everything you love and hope _something_ remains.

And in this moment, as much as Satan tried, this fire became a smoldering, unstoppable blaze. 

One of the students yelled “Hey!” in his ear for the fifth time. His body knew that it was time to strike. He grabbed the back of the bastard’s head then _slammed_ it down on the table. The force caused several books to fall onto the floor and the table to creak under the impact. Cracks formed under the son of a bitch’s head which made Satan grin. The student didn’t scream, sadly, but their limp body said enough. 

_I hope it hurts, you fucker._

Satan, ignoring the pleas from the other student, raised his fist. His grin twisted into a sadistic smile at the lifeless sight below him. He could see it now. This bastard's face was going to become a dead, bleeding pulp with their blood pooling around what they used to be. Satan will then turn towards the other and lick the foul blood off of his hands. This will make the son of a bitch flinch at the sight before turning to run. But Satan would be quicker. He always was. Before the bitch would take a step he would grab their throat and _squeeze._ He'll laugh and laugh as he watches the bitch pitifully struggle to break free. Their gasps for breath will instantly halt following the sound of a clear, satisfying _snap._ Finally, he'll let out a breath, satisfied with his work, as he drops the dead body of the worthless new student.

They wanted a reaction and it is what they’ll get! No, they’ll get a show with _them_ as the stars! It’ll be the greatest piece of art he has ever made. After all, _it’s exactly what they deserve!_

Before he could begin the opening act, one that he thought his brothers would enjoy, a firm hand stopped his fist in its place. Satan gasped in shock. He was so consumed in the internal construction of his masterpiece that he hadn’t heard anyone else enter. He turned his head to see the impassive face of Lucifer looking down at him. His blue, beautiful eyes giving away no ounce of warmth. 

"Let go, Satan." Lucifer instructed as his grip tightened. "Now."

Satan’s hand was starting to hurt. The pain became a new sensation that, somehow, brought him back from his bloodlust. His art piece melted before him, unveiling the ugly, cruel reality of his life. It brought him back to a "brother" who he hated with every fiber of his being. A brother who glared at him with the beauty, and fury, of God.

It was an expression only awarded to him. 

Satan harshly released the new student’s head. The unharmed son of a bitch ran to their comrade and helped them stand. Satan’s victim only had a bloody nose and severe bruising on their face. Much to his disappointment, they’ll live. 

Satan struggled to free himself from Lucifer’s commanding grip. It tightened for the third time, unleashing a pain nearly equal to broken bones. Yet Lucifer didn’t break anything. Not yet. Lucifer liked to carry out physical punishments in private.

"Lucifer, _please-"_

"What happened?" Lucifer demanded. He focused his attention to the students, keeping Satan in place like a chained dog. 

The unharmed student clung onto their friend in fear. The cruel side of Satan marveled at the smell of their fear. 

Their voice violently stammered as they frantically thought of their excuses. "W-We just wanted to check out the library! We're both new and are still trying to figure out where everything is. M-Maybe my friend and I were being too loud. I don't know! But suddenly, this _demon_ attacked us! I thought he was going to kill us! What would my parents think?!"

_LIAR!_

Satan glared at the new students with his teeth bared. The lying bitch stepped back, taking their friend with them.

“You lie! I was only giving you what you deserve!”

In retrospect, he knew that wasn’t the right thing to say. But it made the bitch scream in terror at the Avatar of Wrath. In any other circumstances, this type of scream would have made his heart stop. It would have reminded him how much of a monster he was. It would have brought upon more existential questions and self loathing.

But today, at this very moment, it just made him smile. 

A powerful light emitted from Lucifer as he summoned his demon form. His intimidating aura glowed purple, causing Satan to flinch at the sight. Lucifer’s anger had bloomed into a handsome, slaughterous rage. He spread his wings and shouted "Enough!" with a _boom_ that caused a ringing echo to bounce off the walls.

"Leave the library, both of you! Go to the office of Lord Diavolo at once!" He commanded the new students. For their sake, they were wise to adhere to the number one official rule: 

Obey the orders of the Avatar of Pride. 

The new students quickly scampered out of the library, leaving Lucifer and Satan alone. Satan stared at his oldest brother as he waited for him to strike. Based on his own experience, with anger as potent as Lucifer’s, it won’t leave a single being alive.

"Please don't," Satan begged. Lucifer’s eyes pierced Satan’s with its cold, unloving bite. 

_Is it better to receive everything at once or nothing at all?_

"Do you not realize the extent of your actions? You could have gotten two students killed!"

"I just wanted them to-!"

"IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT YOU WANT. IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT YOU DO."

Satan bit his tongue. He may be the Avatar of Wrath with a rage so destructive and ruthless. But the rage from the Avatar of Pride was ferocious, clear-cut, and revolutionary. 

There was no comparison between the two. Satan, as a being, is a weaker, inferior imitation of Lucifer. This was a fact they knew better than anyone else. It was a fact that loomed over Satan’s conscience the moment he took his new breath. And it was a fact no one, especially not Lucifer, would ever let him forget. 

Lucifer glowered at the scum he saw before him. “Your actions would have _ruined_ what R.A.D stands for. Do you understand? I brought you here so you can socialize, learn, and become more than just your sin. This is how you choose to repay me?” 

His voice lowered to a growl. “This is how you repay me for bringing you into this world?” 

He threw Satan's hand to the side, causing it to slam against a bookshelf. Satan pulled his hand to his chest and held it. Words escaped him yet again. He simply gawked at Lucifer’s explosion, allowing the sparks to burn his skin. 

"Go home,” Lucifer ordered. “I will give you your punishment when I return. Use this time to reflect on your mistakes. Nothing of the House will be damaged, misplaced, or moved. Keep your chaos under control or I will do it for you. Do you understand me?"

Satan has been a student at R.A.D. and a brother to Lucifer his entire life. It has been drilled into him by everyone he knew that breaking the number one rule would be the last thing he ever did. So, without giving it a second thought, he obeyed. 

\------------------------------

Satan sat on the floor in the direct center of his bedroom. He hadn't moved since he made it home and he wouldn't move until he was dead, no doubt.

His flame of rage had become a swirling inferno engulfing his entire body with its heat and madness. As he sat on the wooden floor, he felt the heat whittle down his bones, dry up his blood, and collapse his lungs. He sat there and let it consume him whole, allowing his own body to be fuel, in hopes it will turn him to ash. 

He was so, _so_ tired. The walk of shame left him physically exhausted. The repression of his rage from unleashing onto the world left him emotionally exhausted. He had become used to this draining cycle of emotions. Today, however, was a different beast that he couldn’t conquer. 

He was angry at the new students. 

He was angry at Lucifer. 

He was angry at the Royal Academy of Diavolo. 

He was angry at the House of Lamentation. 

He was angry at the Devildom.

He was angry at the Celestial War. 

He was angry at himself. 

This fire, this _indignation_ , swirled around his very being. This longtime counterpart dug its claws into his heart and cried for freedom. It grasped his hands and curled them into fists, screaming sweet words of revenge. His cruel friend had a way with words, Satan knew. It always knew the one thing he wanted most. It spoke to him in a familiar, heart wrenching voice. 

_Make them feel the pain they force onto you._

He stayed seated. He nails dug deeply in his skin, causing it to bleed. Pain, an intimate distraction, wasn’t working. His indignation swelled, its many faces screaming at him for action, before its intensity collapsed onto itself. 

It was the final transformation. His wrath was metamorphosing into its purest, uncontrollable form. It had become something no one, not even his own brothers, had seen before. 

Water. 

Boiling water. 

Boiling water that involuntarily freed itself from Satan. He gasped for breath as more and more hot tears engulf him in an ocean of self destruction. His wails rang high across his home, spreading his pleas to be forgiven, into the empty, heartless silence.

“Why didn't they just leave me alone? I wasn't doing anything wrong. I swear! I was trying _so hard_ to be good!” 

Lucifer’s icy, cruel eyes appeared in Satan’s mind. It served as a painful reminder of the love he lost simply for living a sin he never chose. A wave of despair brought upon a curse of more tears. He screamed, tearing his voice apart, for compassion from Lucifer. He would accept anything. Any form of discipline or torture was worth it for a chance of kindness from the brother he loved most. 

“I tried so hard to be the person you expect of me. Please! Please don’t push me away like this! I’m sorry for what I am! What I represent. I just want to be a good brother! _For you!_ ”

He slammed his fists into the ground, abruptly, then curled into himself. The more the tears flowed, the more erratic his breathing became. His vision was blurring. He couldn’t stop the anguish that ravished his heart. It was going to kill him from the inside out. So, he prayed.

_Someone please, please tell me that I'm good._

“Satan!”

Tender hands scooped his cheeks into their embrace. Thumbs gently wiped the tears that overwhelmed his emotions. Satan recognized this touch anywhere. 

Adam. 

Adam had found him, somehow. His warmhearted human had become an eye in his hurricane. Satan couldn’t bear to look at his solace in the face. As his tears continued their cascade, he sobbed at the idea of what kind of monster he must have looked to Adam. 

Adam spoke, softly, and with a sympathetic tone. “Satan, my dear. Everything is going to be okay. Focus on me and my voice, alright?”

Satan swallowed as he repressed another sob. The shadows of his rage roared at Satan to push him away. “He’s just going to hurt you!” It cried. “You have to kill him before he gets the chance.”

“Please, just take a deep breath, Satan. I know you can do it.”

“It’s a trick!”

Is it? Breathing is a common method to calm yourself whenever you’re in emotional distress. Satan couldn’t think of his situation as anything _but_ that. As much as he wanted to eradicate the world around him, it was a world with Adam in it.

Satan would rather die than hurt Adam.

After repressing another sob, he took a shaky breath in....then out. 

“Good,” Adam commended. “You did so good. Take another deep breath for me, dear.”

Satan closed his eyes allowing himself to properly focus on his breathing. As he breathed, Adam guided him in muscle relaxing techniques so his hands and arms can unclench. It took so much time, so many fucking deep breathes, but Adam stayed patient throughout the entire process. He gave him support, comfort, and so much kindness.

But Satan knew it wouldn't last. 

He had refused to look at Adam the entire time. The shame was far too great for him to handle. He _loathed_ how Adam got the misfortune of seeing him in such a state. Satan stared at the shaking hands that rested on his lap, no longer crying, but still in melancholy. 

“Satan,” Adam said after minutes of seemingly uncomfortable silence. 

Satan sniffled. _Here it comes…_ “Yes, Adam?”

“Why haven’t you looked at me?”

He refused to leave him unanswered. He had to come up with _something._ “I like the floor.”

Okay, maybe he shouldn’t have come up with something moronic like that. 

Adam, bless his heart, didn’t criticize him. “Did you pick it yourself?”

“No. Um, it was like this when we moved in.”

“Ah, well, lucky you for getting a room with a good floor.”

“Yes. Lucky me.”

An uncomfortable silence filled the air again. Satan knew it was because of him. If he wasn’t such a goddamn coward, they wouldn’t be in this situation. 

Satan began to pick at the damaged floor with his finger. He really needed to stop hitting the damn thing. He needed to stop hitting things in general.

“Why are you here?” Satan asked. “It’s still school hours, right?”

“Oh, yeah,” Adam responded with a sheepish tone. “I ditched class and ran straight home.”

Well, yes, Satan figured as much. “That’s ‘how’ you came here. You didn’t answer ‘why.’”

“Oh. I ran into the new kids waiting outside Diavolo’s office. One of them was in bad shape. I didn’t see you.”

Satan willed his breathing to stay neutral. After all, Adam’s rejection is what he expected. 

“Those bastards had it coming.” 

Scratch that. No one, not even he, could have expected that. Satan’s whole body froze as he struggled to process those five words.

“What?” He stuttered. 

“Satan, they were picking on you all day. They weren't even being subtle about it. They played with fire and got burnt. It's as simple as that.”

“You don’t understand.”

“Enlighten me then.”

“I was going to kill them before Lucifer stepped in.”

There was a pause. Satan wondered how a human could process a confession of attempted murder. 

“Well,” Adam began, “I gotta condemn the murder part. Murder is wrong. But, I will congratulate you for standing up for yourself.”

Satan was about to get whiplash from how many times this human was going to surprise him. 

“You’re not upset?”

  
  
“Satan, I was bullied for most of my life. My family have always taught me that we have to the right to protect ourselves against those who cause us harm. I know you would never hurt someone without a valid reason. You’re a good person, Satan, and I’m proud of you for defending yourself.”

He didn’t know what to say… He could have never predicted that someone, let alone a _human_ , would treat him with so much understanding. Adam knew what he went through. He wasn't angry at his actions. Rather, he was _proud_ of him. Satan was suddenly overwhelmed with a foreign feeling. A feeling that sent his heart fluttering for the man sitting before him. 

Euphoria. 

Satan raised his head towards Adam. He saw himself, a bone-weary, emotionally drained man, in his eyes. This reflection wasn’t as cold and heart stopping as Lucifer’s. No, instead, Adam’s brown eyes were enveloping him in a warmth so comforting and soft that it made Satan want to melt into them. It was heavenly.

“Hey,” Satan whispered.

Adam greeted him with the same wonderful smile as always. “Hey. There you are." 

Satan nodded before giving him his own smile. “I’m back.”

Adam offered his arms to him, his smile never waning. “Welcome home.”

Satan, happily, leaned into his embrace, wrapping his arms around Adam's waist, then burrowing his head into his chest. He let out a content sigh.

They laid in each other's arms for several minutes as Adam ran his fingers through Satan's hair. He had never felt more at peace. But there was still something on his mind. “Lucifer is going to kill me when he gets home.”

Adam’s arms protectively tightened around him. “He’ll have to get through me first.”

“Oh, he will. He’s going to kill _you_ for leaving school unannounced.”

“Oh. Yeah, I did do that, huh?”

Satan let out a soft chuckle. “Yes, you did.”

“Ah, I’ll be okay. I can take him.”

_"You?_ Take on Lucifer? Be realistic, kitten.”

“I am! I’ve been working out with Beel! I practically have guns of steel.”

He had to laugh at his silly human. “Ah, of course. How foolish of me to doubt you.”

Adam began to run his fingers through Satan’s hair. A soft _purr_ of contentment left his lips from the touch. 

“I would take as many punishments Lucifer can give me if it meant protecting you,” Adam admitted. “Some rules can be broken if it allows us to protect those we love.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading my work! I'm still a novice at writing fanfiction so please feel free to leave constructive comments on how I may improve. Also, if there is any grammatical or spelling errors then please let me know and I will correct it. 
> 
> Stay safe!


End file.
